By the time a single Jewish man hits 23, their parents feel the need to get involved. Fear not my fellow cousins. If your parents know someone looking for a nice Jewish boy such as yourself, here’s what you do: Facebook search for her name (be sure to not friend request prior to the first three dates, it’s creepy and we all know it). Search through the fifty pages of Stephanie’s/Allison’s/Michelle’s and locate her. If the profile picture looks somewhat up to par, you’re golden. Next, send a text or BBM to establish some contact and avoid future awkwardness. After a few texts, man up and give her a call. Let her know that your parents typically do not set up your dates but you heard such great things – etc. The rest is up to you, TJML is by no means Will Smith in “Hitch” and we hope you are no resemblance of Kevin James. Work your charm, and make sure to thank your parents after you lay some pipe. A few weeks later, ask your parents to keep them coming – they’ll do their part – after all, it’s a mitzvah.
Why should you move forward with the potential date set up by your mom or dad? Let’s see… to make your parents happy, because Jdate is not worth the membership fee and 95% of the girls are hideous, expectations are set low from the start – a half decent date turns into a success. Also, if the date does not work out, it will motivate your parents to keep their eyes even more wide open. The waitress that serves them at the deli, the cute blonde shopping in the same store as your mom, or their friends daughters – all unbelievable prospects!
What these parents to do not realize is that times have changed. Baby boomers did not have it made back in the day like we do today. And no, not because the instant access we have to online porn. Jdate.com, Facebook, Myspace (not so much), text messages, the list goes on. Women are at our finger tips these days. No worries. If you can’t make it rain, let your mom help – no homo.
Of course parents take these initiatives to enforce the tradition of their son marrying a Jewish girl. If this isn’t in your playbook, maybe it’s not in your best interest to pursue these dates. Not many parents will go out of their way to set up their precious boy with Esperanza, Margarita, Yuka, Ursula, or our favorite Asian lady friend (see #1 Post Asian Sensation). There’s always having them convert, right?
